Saturday, March 18, 2006

the 3-day time-out

Just a quick check-in - I like to update my blogs at least every 2-3 days and it's been almost a week since I wrote here. Major family stuff occurred this week - reunion with siblings, niece and nephews; my son getting back behind the wheel(in his own new used car) for the first time since his terrible November '04 accident; my daughter flying off to a long campus visit to the college to which she might transfer. There was much talking into the wee hours, great cookies, a couple of good meals and the added fillup of a bit of car trouble.

All that happened in three days and suddenly it was Thursday and everyone was gone and I didn't have to drive anyone anywhere. And I felt a bone-deep exhaustion. So I've slept and slept and knitted and spun a bit and done a bit of looking around rather bewildered at what is suddenly a very different world for me now that I don't have to drive my son everywhere - one with more time and more space; and the freedom to decide for myself how to spend the time and move in the space.

I am applying my 3-day time-out rule here.
A long time ago, I arbitrarily decided that 3 days was the allowable maximum for pining over a broken relationship, lost job, disappointment or for freaking out of any kind. 3 days for wallowing in self-pity or recovering from a not-so-restful vacation, sudden change in circumstances, etc. 3 days to stay in bed with covers over the head, hair getting lank, eating only yogurt and/or chocolate. And after that, time to get moving, take a long shower, wash that hair and get on with life.

So today is day 3 of my bewilderment/exhaustion wallow. Time to make some decisions, set more goals, get moving. I have hats to make and clutter to de- and weight to lose.

Bookshelves are coming on Monday and I will be able to fix up Patrick's old room as a really functional space. But first, on Sunday, I will finish working on the remainder of Mom's things which the retirement community allowed me to move into a smaller,vacant apartment. They are going to let us continue to use a little wire storage unit that went with her independent living apartment so I am just going to move those boxes of papers into it for now and not try to make sense of them and organize them yet. Mom has not asked about them, so that seems an okay thing to do for now.

I want to say that I am still reaping the benefits of what I've accomplished so far in my decluttering. In the past, a 3-day swoon would have been made unpleasant by being surrounded by clutter, accompanied by rampant guilt at the mess's existence and disgust at my inertia. But these days have been, on the whole, restful and recharging -- which, after all, is really the purpose of the 3-day time-out in the first place, n'est-ce pas?


Blogger Sandra Dodd said...

On March 31 I notice, and am not surprised, that you haven't posted since March 18. Three weeks is okay for pining and such. Three months or three years might be okay if you need it. If I were nearer, I would help with your taxes and bring you some tea and maybe wash your windows or something.


2:16 AM, March 31, 2006  
Anonymous spirit1song said...

Hey Sis --


Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Love & love & more love from all of us...

3:38 PM, March 31, 2006  

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